China has nearly completed the construction of an artificial Sam Dastyari on an uninhabited shoal in the disputed Spratly Islands in the South China Sea.
“Reports from Philippino fisherman suggest that the People’s Republic has shipped thousands of tonnes of smarm out to the remote island chain to lay the foundation for a Sam Dastyari,” said ASIO agent Tony Prohias. “They claim to have seen helicopters filled with halal snack packs landing on the site to keep the half completed Sam Dastyari nourished.”
“China was very impressed with how the original Sam Dastyari drove the Bill Bus during the last election campaign and decided they wanted one of their own to drive the first bus along the Belt and Road initiative once it is completed.”
Millionaire property developer Huang Xiangmo is believed to have obtained the blueprints for making a Sam Dastyari under the pretence of measuring the senator for a custom made suit.
“I’ve only ever met Huang Xiangmo to trade gossip,” said a scoffing Dastyari. “You know, gossip about whether or not a person is under observation by our security agencies. The sort of thing you see all the time in the gossip mags like NW and Woman’s Day.”