Australian Through To Second Set Of Australian Open

For the first time in more than a decade an Australian tennis player has made it through to the second set of the Australian Open.

Plucky qualifier Dylan Catgut thrilled local fans by lasting almost a full hour on centre court before having to withdraw from the contest after stubbing his toe on the umpires chair with the scores at 0-6, 0-3.

“I’m glad I was able to pay back some of the $10 million that Tennis Australia has invested in my development,” said the humble crowd favourite after the loss against a cardboard cut out of American 987th seed Alex Footfault. “I was strongly tempted to pack it in during the fifth game of the first set when a bee started buzzing around me but I dug deep and hung in there for another fifteen minutes.”

Having noted how respectful and well spoken he was during the post match interview, Tennis Australia immediately ordered that Catgut undergo some intensive media training to ensure he displays the levels of petulance and entitlement the Australian public expects from its tennis champions.

Meanwhile, the Commonwealth Bank has offered to open an account for Bernard Tomic and issue him a monthly statement, saving him the hassle of having to count his millions for himself.

Peter Green

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Categories: Sport

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