Supreme Court Orders 60 Year Old Former PM To Move On

The Supreme Court has ordered 60 year old former Prime Minister Tony Abbott to move on from his ambitions to once again become Prime Minister and to cease all acts of undermining and sniping.

“The Australian people are sick and tired of having to listen to Tony Abbott constantly snipe against the Government and talk about how things were better in his day,” said a Spokesperson for the Court. “As well he contributes nothing to the day to day running of the country, never chips in with grocery money and is constantly hanging out in the lounge room sniping with his mates Ray Hadley and Ben Fordham.”

“It’s time he moves on and makes something of himself.”

When reached for comment on the Court’s decision Mr Abbott said: “Ah look, the Australian people want Tony Abbott. They may not realise it but they will in time. Besides I’m an excellent house mate, I ensure that the place isn’t over run with boats and the pantry is always stocked with onions.”

“Now if you’ll excuse me I’m off to egg Malcolm’s house.”

Mark Williamson

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Categories: Politics

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