The Turnbull Government has announced a new Ministerial appointment this week with former Prime Minister Tony Abbott being appointed the Minister for Not Selling The ABC.
“I think Tony will do a marvelous job in helping us convey to the general public our intentions of not selling the ABC,” said Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull. “You chaps in the media like stirring up trouble. Just because the Liberal council and the IPA of which most of our Senators are members want to sell the ABC does not mean we will sell it this year.”
“I mean have you seen how little bananas are selling for, we need to wait for the price to be higher before we sell.”
When reached for comment on his appointment Mr Abbott said: “Australian’s can trust that I, Tony Abbott will not sell the ABC. I am a man of my word. I have previously promised that there would be no cuts to the ABC and I delivered on that.”
“Sure we took money off the ABC but we did not cut anyone or anything on ABC premises. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m off to see Rupert MUrdoch to see how much he’s willing to pay, hypothetically if we were to sell the ABC.”