Andrew Bolt Proposes Burning Green Bags As An Alternate Energy Source

Plastic bag enthusiast Andrew Bolt has called on the Government to consider burning green bags as an alternate energy source as part of the upcoming National Energy guarantee.

“What use are green bags,” said Andrew Bolt. “If like me you have a cupboard full of them, as every time you send your wife to the supermarket to shop she forgets to take them and has to buy more to bring the groceries home then what are you meant to do with them?”

“Hence if we burn them they will provide cheap base load power and also rid our houses of unnecessary clutter.”

When asked what would we use to bring home our groceries Mr Bolt replied: “Well the Government should mandate that all shops give out single use plastic bags and any company that refuses will be taken over and run by the State. That’s how a market economy works best you know.”

Mark Williamson

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