Niche news channel Sky News has sent out a rally cry for all of it’s viewers to get behind convicted pedophile George Pell. The network was hopeful of reaching all of it’s viewers, all 12 of them.
“It’s times like these that we all need to stick together,” said Pell’s head cheerleader Andrew Bolt. “I mean can you believe that a court of law and a jury of his peers chose to believe evidence over the word of a man of God.”
“It’s unbelievable and sadly a sign of things to come. I mean take climate change, people take the word of 90% of scientists who think man contributes to it rather than the less than 10% of scientists who disagree. What is the world coming to.”
When asked how they planned to rally behind George Pell Mr Bolt replied: “We will be holding a public rally, though the police did inform us that they cannot shut down a road for a crowd as small as ours. They did however tell us to consider holding it in a phone booth.”
“Which is quite helpful as I can book the same one that I use when I hold a gathering of my fan club.”