Soon to be anointed National’s leader Barnaby Joyce has told colleagues he intends to embrace his second chance at the leadership by laying down and establishing roots all over the party.
“I’ve been lucky enough to be given a lot of second chances in my life and I intend to take this one as the new Nationals leader by pulling a few, I mean laying down roots in the party,” said Barnaby Joyce. “Cheers to McCormack was that his name, for stepping aside so a stud like me can finish off the job.”
When asked what he had learned from his time away from the leadership and what he hoped to achieve Mr Joyce replied: “I’ve learned that it costs a lot to feed two families. Get me back on the campaign trail so I can win us an election.”
“Because as we know you earn more money in parliament when you’re not in the shadows.”
“Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go and see Bridget McKenzie and see if she’s willing to work under me, if you know what I mean.”