The Australian Federal Police have told the Sky News network that their ratings are just not high enough to warrant them being raided.
“Look we just can’t go around raiding everyone, well at least not until we got more funding from the Dark Lord, Peter Dutton,” said an AFP Spokesperson. “In the case of Sky News if a tree falls in the forest and no one is there does it make noise?”
“Sky News may have leaked confidential information but it’s not like anyone is watching it to hear the information.”
When reached for comment on the AFP’s statement a Spokesperson for Sky News said: “Not that we want to be raided but saying we just don’t rate is unfair.”
“Why just last week The Bolt Report cracked the elusive double figures mark and Paul Murray Live if you add up all the viewers he has each week and times it by five he comes close to triple figures.”
“Now if you’ll excuse me I’m off to attend a candlelight vigil for Cardinal Pell.”
Mark Williamson
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