Human Excrement Levels Atop Uluru At Dangerously Toxic Levels


Experts have warned that the level of human excrement on the sacred site of Uluru is reaching potentially toxic levels. The warning comes after human excrement was filmed sliding down the side of the monolith by a camera crew from A Current Affair.

“Climbing Uluru is not the easiest thing in the world as there are no rails or restrooms,” said an expert climber. “As well being a sacred site, who would want to climb it?”

“I mean other than ignorant tourists or irrelevant politicians trying to get some cheap publicity.”

Scientists when shown the footage of the excrement sliding down the side of the monolith were concerned by the footage, noting the high levels of red visible in the feces.

“I do worry for whoever this belongs to as it appears to be highly toxic and could cause further damage if left unattended,” said a local Scientist. “It appears that this excrement seems to be seeking out the cameras for attention.”

“You don’t usually see this activity outside of Canberra or election time.”

Mark Williamson

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Categories: Politics

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