Barnaby Spewing As Cost Of Froot Loops Skyrockets Due To Drought

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Former Special Envoy for the drought and known families man Barnaby Joyce has hit the roof at his local Woolworths after learning that the cost of a box of Froot Loops has risen due to the drought.

“This is unbelievable, how is a little Aussie battler like myself supposed to afford a box or two of Froot Loops for my families,” said Mr Joyce. “I know there is a drought on, trust me, I know but seriously over $6 for a box of Froot Loops.”

“That Toucan has some nerve I tell ya, some nerve. If I were still agriculture Minister I would’ve sorted that bird out and his little coco pops slinging mate too.”

When asked whether he felt any empathy for the struggling farmers and cereal producers Mr Joyce said: “Ah look you know me I have a heart. I’m always there for a farmer and his daughter if you know what I mean.”

“But this isn’t about the farmers this is between me and that prick of a Toucan. I tell you if I see that Toucan and I’m out driving I won’t be stopping.”

“Now if you’ll excuse me I’m off to the Reject Shop to see if they’ve got any close to its use by date cereal going cheap. I got families to feed damn it.”

Mark Williamson

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