Shorten Concedes Being King Of Knives Poster Boy Not Best Look For Aspiring PM


Former Labor leader Bill Shorten has conceded to colleagues that taking on the role as poster boy for retailing giant the King Of Knives during his time as leader did not help his cause at the ballot box.

Mr Shorten’s revelation comes ahead of the party releasing it’s long awaited review into this year’s election loss.

“Bill realises now that being not only behind a couple of leadership knifings but also bragging about it wasn’t the best way to win an election,” said a Party Insider. “He should have borrowed a page from Tony Abbott’s playbook and simply opposed everything and only speak in 3 word slogans.”

When asked whether Mr Shorten had discontinued his association with the King of Knives brand the party insider said: “Bill won’t be making any more public appearances with knives but those in and around cabinet know that he is always ready to pop up and talk about how to effectively knife someone if needed.”

“In fact I heard him the other day chatting to a couple of people in shadow cabinet about organising an early Christmas present for Albo, he said he had a really sharp blade lined up for him.”

Mark Williamson

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Categories: Politics

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