Australia’s Prime Minister Scott Morrison has told the nation’s billionaires to start pulling their weight and give something back to the country instead of demanding bail outs and tax breaks.
“Times are tough and the country needs our billionaires to get on-board the Team Australia bus and give something back,” said Prime Minister Morrison. “I call on Gina, Twiggy and, dare I say it, Rupert to dig into their pockets and give us some cash.”
“After all what do they want to be remembered as, lifters or leaners?”
When asked what he felt the billionaires could contribute and what the Government would be doing to make them to do so, the Prime Minister said: ”My Government will take a strong hand to … I mean my Government will put in place … I’m sorry!”
“You got me! Sorry, I can’t keep this up! April Fool’s Day, everybody! Just a little joke me and the boys at the IPA thought up to play on Gina and Twiggy. Oh, what a hoot that we got you lot at The (un)Australian!”
“Oh that is too much! Fancy you lot thinking that my Government would dare ask our precious billionaires to do anything for the country. What next? We’ll give to the poor?!”
“Oh, what a great day it is! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to talk to Twiggy about arranging a bail out or two.”
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