Prime Minister Scotty from marketing has given a last minute reprieve to a rise in fees for Arts degrees that study how good Captain Cook was.

”I’ve heard the feedback that not everybody was enamored with my Government’s change to the cost of a university degree so I’ve moved to make a few tweaks to it,” said Prime Minister Scotty. ”All arts degrees that focus on how good Captain Cook was will not be going up.”

”In fact my Government will be looking at offering scholarships and bursaries to people looking to study Captain Cook, with a particular focus on indigenous students.”

When asked why at a time when Universities were doing it tough the Government was looking to raise fees, the Prime Minister said: ”Under my Government if you have a go you get a go, you know.”

”Captain Cook was a great man, heck the electorate that I represent is named after him.”

”And I couldn’t think of a better way to honour him than by getting more people to study how good he was.”

”Well, we were going to put up more statues but then we thought they might get pulled down. You can’t pull down a university scholarship, can you.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

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Categories: Arts

Tags: Arts degrees, Captain Cook, Cook, Culture Wars, Dan Tehan, education, funding, HECS, higher education, Humanities, Insiders, QandA, Scomo, Scotty From Marketing, statues, University