Sky News Launches Australia’s Next Top Racist In Search For Jones’ Replacement

Niche news network Sky News Australia has launched a new reality show, Australia’s next top racist with the winner to be given Alan Jones’ spot on the network.

”Replacing Alan Jones is no easy task, it’s rare these days to have a triple threat like Alan, what with him being racist, misogynistic and a climate change denier,” said a Spokesperson for the network. ”I mean sure we could put Cory Bernardi in there but we would like to attract viewers to the network.”

”There is a lot of talent out there like Tim Smith, Craig Kelly or some of the One Nation rejects so who knows what we’ll turn up.”

When asked why they would seek to replace low rating Alan Jones with a similar type of broadcaster, the Spokesperson said: ”Controversy creates cash, don’t you know?”

”Alan was great at stirring the pot, but as he’s older he didn’t quite reach out and touch the youth demographic.”

”Hang on, if we’re after someone who can touch the youth why don’t we ask George Pell, he’s free these days.”

Mark Williamson


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