”Give Us More Staff Or Chalmers Gets A Wedgie” Says Lambie To Albo

Independent Senator and the politician voted most likely to appear on SAS Australia Jacqui Lambie has warned Prime Minister Anthony Albanese to give her and the other cross benchers more staff or she’ll give Treasurer Jim Chalmers a wedgie.

”Albo needs to know I don’t bloody muck around,” said the Tasmanian Senator. ”So, I’m giving him till Friday to pony up the staff otherwise Chalmers better get used to wearing his undies up around his ears.’

”And if that doesn’t do it then maybe I’ll move onto Bowen and give him a wet willie.”

When asked why the cross bench felt entitled to demand more staff at a time when the Nation was facing record levels of debt, Senator Lambie said: ”This isn’t about debt it’s about getting more staff into my office.”

”I mean who’s going to run out and get my lunch?”

”Or drop off a flaming bag of dog doo to Peter Dutton’s office on a Friday.”

”They can’t expect me to do that and consider legislation, what do they think I am, some sort of Spock.”

”Anyway, gotta go, it’s almost lunch time and James Patterson hasn’t given me his lunch money yet.”

Mark Williamson


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