Low Polling Peter Dutton Warns Colleagues Not To Challenge Or Else

Opposition leader the Dark Lord Peter Dutton has warned his colleagues not to challenge him for the leadership after the latest polls revealed that he had made little to no ground on the Government in a year.

”Politics is not a popularity contest you know, said the Dark Lord. ”A lot of people do like me, for instance my Mum thinks I’m tolerable and my wife and kids like me too.”

”And have you ever heard Sky News after Dark, those freaks worship me.”

When asked how he expected to win an election with such a low approval rating, the Dark Lord said: ”There are other ways to win an election you know, like fear.”

”The people of Australia need to realise I should not be underestimated.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go around to Angus Taylor’s office and mess it up a little just to keep him on his toes.”

Mark Williamson


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