The Dark Lord Peter Dutton’s Coalition has today launched their plan to keep the Australian budget in the black, by suing their way to prosperity.

”Australians don’t need to be afraid of any Government that I lead,” said the Dark Lord. ”Unless of course they plan to say anything about my colleague Linda Reynolds.”

”Let’s face it, that will cost you, right Tanya?”

When asked why given all the issues Australia was facing the Opposition seemed focused on weaponising the leaked text messages of a victim of sexual assault, the Dark Lord said: ”Well, Labor started it. I mean, all we were doing was sitting around watching Scotty play prime minister, treasurer, finance minister and truck driver when Anthony Albanese and his mates started asking questions.”

”They should have left well enough alone.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to meet Paul Fletcher, he has a cunning plan to lure Albo onto a plane for a holiday in Hawaii.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

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Categories: Politics

Tags: abc730, Albo, Anthony Albanese, auspol, budget, Cash, Coalition, Defamation, Higgins, Insiders, Linda REynolds, Peter Dutton, QandA, Sussan Ley, Tanya Plibersek