Gladys To Compensate All Optus Customers With A Free Pass To The Dubbo Gun Club

Optus’ reigning self-appointed employee of the month, Gladys Berejiklian, has promised all customers effected by the nation-wide outage that they would be compensated with a free pass to the Dubbo Gun Club.

”I know that our customers have been inconvenienced, believe me, as a customer myself I couldn’t do my Wordle this morning,” said the former Premier. ”So, as compensation I say head to Dubbo and a round of shooting is on me.”

”It’s a great club, I should know, I redirected the funds to it myself.”

When asked why customers should stick with Optus given the companies myriad of problems, gold standard Gladys said: ”What’s the alternative, you’re gonna go to Telstra?”

”Good luck trying to get out of one of our contracts.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me I’m off to get to the bottom of what caused this outage and find the person that I plan to throw under a bus. Imagine if they were named Darryl, wouldn’t that be funny?”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

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