Sky News Australia’s leading poll expert, Sharri Markson, has told her viewers, all 6 of them, that internal polls leaked to her reveal that the former member for Dickson, Peter Dutton, will be declared Pope at this week’s Conclave.

”I have it on very good authority that what you read in the news is wrong and Peter Dutton will be declared Pope,” said Sharri Markson. ”Typical of our leftist media to try and twist the narrative.”

”Pope Peter, has a nice ring to it.”

When asked why anyone should trust her secret polling given that she was so far off on the recent Federal election, Sharri Markson said: ”I was not wrong, the people just didn’t vote how they should have.”

”People need to start listening yo Sky news, if they did Australia would be on the right track.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to Rome to see the appointment of Pope Peter.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

You can follow The (un)Australian on twitter @TheUnOz or like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theunoz.

The (un)Australian Live At The Newsagency Recorded live, to purchase click here:

Categories: World

Tags: auspol, Australia, Conclave, Insiders, Internal Polling, Italy, Newspoll, Papal, Peter Dutton, Polls, pope, Pope Francis, Pope Peter, QandA, satire, Sharri Markson, Sky News Australia, The Vatican