Aspiring Opposition leader, Andrew Hastie, has demanded that his Coalition colleagues commit to net-zero Sussan Leys or else he will take his bat and ball and go home.

”As a party we are done for if we don’t commit to net-zero, Sussans,” said the aspiring Opposition leader. ”The public want action and as a former soldier I am nothing, if not a man of action.”

”With Angus and Jacinta by my side I will lead the Coalition to places they have never been before.”

When asked how he expected to form Government without a solid commitment to net-zero, given the publics overwhelming support for it, the member for Canning said: ”The people I have polled don’t support net-zero. Take my dear friend Gina, she’s not a fan of net-zero.”

”And we all know that what Gina wants, Gina gets.”

”So, I will be hitting up Gina for a heap of cash to ensure the only net-zero we have is net-zero Sussans.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

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Categories: Politics

Tags: Andrew Hastie, Angus Taylor, auspol, Climate Action, climate change, Coalition, Gina Rinehart, Insiders, Jacinta Nampijimpa Price, Liberal party, LibSpill, Nationals, Net-Zero, satire, Sky News, Sussan Ley