Melbourne’s iconic laneways will be widened to a minimum width of 50 metres in an effort to make them covid-19 friendly spaces. “In time people will come to know Melbourne as a city of broad boulevards full of totally not… Read More ›
Daniel Andrews
Peter Dutton Labels Victoria A S***hole
Minister for Home Affairs Peter Dutton has ramped up his attack on the State of Victoria by labelling it ‘a s***hole.’ “Look I stand by my statement that Victoria is, pardon the French a s***hole,” said an unrepentent Minister Dutton…. Read More ›
Cocaine Industry In Shock After Logies Leave Melbourne
Up to 5000 jobs may be lost in the Victorian cocaine industry in the wake of the state government’s decision to no longer fund the annual TV Week Logie Awards. “Daniel Andrews obviously has no idea how important the cocaine… Read More ›
Victorian Premier Under Fire For Announcing Building Project Without Wearing Hi Vis
Victoria Premier Daniel Andrews today copped a stern phone call from federal Labor for announcing a major building policy without wearing a fluro vest. A Labor insider told The (un)Australian that Mr Andrews received a phone call from Bill Shorten himself, asking… Read More ›
Daniel Andrews Pays Barista To Not Make A Coffee
Victoria’s Premier Daniel Andrews is at least $4.29 out of pocket after reaching a deal with The Coffee Emporium to cancel his predecessors daily order. In what could be Victoria’s mostly costly cancelled coffee order ever, the premier revealed on… Read More ›
‘We Did It!’ Daniel Andrews Wins Victorian Election, Which We Always Supported
Daniel Andrews, the man we’ve obviously always supported during this election, so much so that it would be foolish to go through our archives to try and find evidence against that claim, has taken the Victorian Labor Party to an… Read More ›
The (un)Australian 