Calls For Abbott To Be Knighted Over Services To Women

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After his departure as minister for women, calls are being made for Tony Abbott to be knighted for his services to Australian women.

New Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has announced his new cabinet featuring five women, which, it was pointed out, would not have been possible without Tony Abbott.

Noted conservative columnist Alan Moans spoke to The (un)Australian about his proposal to knight Mr Abbott, saying: “No one else is as deserving more than Tony Abbott of being made a knight, actually no one else other than Tony Abbott wants to be a knight.”

Asked what Mr Abbot’s knighthood-worthy achievements were, Mr Moans said: “Never has there been a minister for women who has attracted more attention than Tony. I mean as prime minister he set the tone, no pun intended, by having just the one female in his cabinet. Now there’s five, the way this keeps on going, in the year 2046 we’ll have a thousand women in cabinet.”

The Greens were asked for comment on a knighthood for Abbott and, after they stopped laughing, their spokesperson said: “Tony has done a lot for the female population, none of it good, so heck give him his title, another unworthy titleholder he’ll fit in nicely with Prince Philip.”

Mark Williamson
www.twitter.com/MW__Oh

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