Senator Eric Abetz, the Coalition’s closest link to the Third Reich has demanded Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull override the Australian Of The Year selection panel and appoint former Prime Minister Tony Abbott as Australian of the year.
Speaking to The (un)Australian about his demand Senator Abetz explained his thought process. “Tony Abbott is the perfect embodiment of Australian manhood, fit, virile a natural leader and wordsmith. I mean he coined the phrase ‘Captain’s Call’ and the Macquarie Dictionary said it was word of the year, they didn’t do that with ‘gotta zip’ or ‘banana republic’ did they?”
When questioned about Senator Abetz’s calls for him to be Australian Of The Year, Tony Abbot responded, “Eric is a good man, from good stock, I am humbled, flattered and slightly aroused.
“However I am not worthy of this award. There is only one person I can think of who is worthy of Australian of the year, he is a great man who has done so much for this country from so far away and that man is Sir Prince Philip, I’m sure we can all agree on that.”
The Australian Of The Year award is announced tonight in Canberra, Eric Abetz and Tony Abbott will not be in attendance as Malcolm Turnbull has given them the important job of guarding a copy of the Henry Tax Review deep in the bowels of Parliament house.