Britain’s number one tennis player has indicated that he is really, really looking forward to the Commonwealth Games.
The great hope of English tennis, born in Scotland, held a press conference after playing a match in one of the colonies at the weekend. He reaffirmed to reporters his long standing committment to preparing for the pinnacle of tennis in 2018, the Commonwealth Games at the Gold Coast.
“The tournament here in Melbourne, this Australian Open,” said Murray, “Has been a great outing to help prepare for the Gold Coast in two years time.”
When pressed on his thoughts on yet another defeat to Novak Djokovic in a major tournamment, Murray responded: “Who? Oh that Balkan fellow, yes must have been quite a thrill for him, but as I said I am still in the warm up stages for 2018.
“The chance to get used to the conditions in Australia has been invaluable for my preparation to assault Gold Coast 2018. I can say it looms as the highlight of the tennis calendar with novak reservations… I mean no reseravations, yes yes, no reseravations at all. Djokovic Djokovic tic tic.”
Another reporter asked if the reason his focus was on the Commonwealth Games was because Djokovic, a Serbian international, was inelligible to enter the tournament, which would leave Murray free to win without his long standing nemesis being present.
Murray’s response, after putting his fingers in his ears was, “la la la la la la la la, can’t hear you, la la la la la la.”
The (un)Australian asked Murray if his Commonwealth games planning had taken into account that tennis wasn’t in the program for 2018.
“Shit,” said Murray.