Tony Abbott To Sing “There Is Nothing Like A Dame” At NRL Grand Final

The NRL has caved in to Tony Abbott’s criticism of Macklemore’s proposed performance of the number one song “Same Love” at Sunday’s grand final by cancelling the song and replacing it with the Warringah backbencher singing “There Is Nothing Like A Dame” from the musical “South Pacific”.

“I’m looking forward to standing up in front of several hundred rugby league fans and singing my lungs out,” said the former PM as he downed a lemon and honey drink to protect his vocal chords. “I’ve been practising in the shower all week and its been driving Margie insane.”

Supporters of marriage equality are equally jubilant.

“We want as many people as possible to hear our message so it would have been a total waste of our time performing in front of two blokes and a dog at the rugby league,” said Macklemore after hearing of the ban. “We’ll instead be performing the song to random passersby in the middle of the Simpson Desert where it’s more likely that we’ll draw a crowd.”

Mr Abbott is believed to be learning the words of “I’m Going To Wash That Man Right Out Of My Hair” just in case the crowd demands an encore.

Peter Green

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