Bill Shorten Releases Video Showing He Was Raised By A Single Trade Union


Labor has responded to Malcolm Turnbull’s campaign video about being raised by a battling single father by filming their own showing how Bill Shorten was raised by a battling single trade union.

“I was left on the doorstep of the AWU as baby with a note pinned to my basket saying please raise me as best you can,” notes Shorten in the ad. “I spent most of my childhood with gruff Scottish accented men in bulky ill fitting parkas standing around burning oil drums on picket lines.”

“Two guys, one an organisation losing its relevance in an increasingly de-unionised workplace environment, the other a faceless party hack looking for a vessel to climb to the top of, it was that sort of relationship,” narrates the opposition leader. “The AWU taught me a lot of amazing things like how to backstab and crunch numbers. It scraped money together to send me on holidays to Beaconsfield to swan around in front of the TV cameras during that mine thing.”

Other Australian political leaders have scoffed at Mr Shorten’s claims of growing up poor.

“I was raised by an onion and a pair of red speedos but you don’t see me making a big song and dance about it,” said former PM Tony Abbott. “What about Clive Palmer? He was raised by a single animatronic dinosaur at the bottom of a nickel mine. Where’s his sob story campaign video?”

Peter Green

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Categories: Politics

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