Santos Plans To Drill Barnaby Joyce In Search Of Natural Gas

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Oil and gas company Santos has today announced plans to drill into deputy prime minister Barnaby Joyce in what they tip could be Australia’s largest source of natural gas.

A spokesperson for Santos told The (un)Australian: “Anyone who’s ever seen Mr Joyce talk knows that he is full of hot wind, but the sheer amount he spews got us thinking that maybe fuelling that wind is gas. So we thought let’s get the drills out and have a look.”

Contacted about the gas drilling plans,  Mr Joyce said: “Look, it’s a state issue. I don’t want to be drilled for gas, but what can I do, I’m only deputy prime minister and minister for agriculture. I don’t believe prime farming land or humans should be mined for gas, but we need to look out for miners’, I mean the country’s interests.”

Mr Joyce is slated to be drilled for gas following the July 2 federal election, unless of course he loses his seat to the former member Tony Windsor in which case he is expected to expel the gas and hot wind naturally.

Mark Williamson

www.twitter.com/MW__Oh

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