Greens Call For A Ban On Election Day Sausage Sizzle

Sausage

The Australian Greens have today called for the immediate banning of the traditional Election day sausage sizzle, saying that it is highly insensitive to vegetarians and the phallic nature of the sausage is intimidatory towards female voters.

A spokesperson for the greens explained the call to ban the sausage to The (un)Australian saying, “For too long voters have been forced to endure children trying to foist a sausage on people as they line up to vote, the smell of burning dead animals is horrific and then you’re confronted with this giant phallic symbol, it’s too much I just want to vote damn it and aggressively push my Green party how to vote card on other voters..”

When we raised the issue of the election day sausage sizzle being a great way for schools and community groups being able to raise funds the spokesperson responded by saying, “They could sell tofu or salad or mung beans, it’s not all about meat you know a lot of my friends love mung beans.”

A spokesperson for Premier Mike Baird refused to be drawn into the debate whilst Opposition Leader Luke Foley asked us what Baird was doing and said he’d consult the Unions and get back to us.

We didn’t dare raise the issue with the Shooters and Fishers party as they’re armed, and crazy.

Mark Williamson
www.twitter.com/MW__Oh

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Categories: Politics

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4 replies

  1. Lol Lot of people like mung beans , that’s why they vote green, let’s face it all the green candidates are mung beans

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  2. No wonder you are loosing votes

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  3. Ummm.. some sausage sizzles Ive been to they cut the sausage down the middle.. it looks less like a phallic symbol.. or at least less like one that has been left untouched by a large knife… it a Sausage not a political statement… Whats next? Liberals arguing that sausages may make kids gay? Oo

    Like

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