Former Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott has rushed to call American President Donald Trump, vowing that he would shirtfront Malcolm Turnbull on President Trump’s behalf.
Speaking to The (un)Australian Mr Abbott spoke of his conversation with President Trump, saying “When I heard of the disgraceful way that Malcolm spoke to President Trump I was first on the phone, well actually second after Cory Bernardi and I assured President Trump that Australia is right behind you, not Malcolm.
“I mean fancy Malcolm wasting Mr Trump’s time talking about illegal refugees when he could be talking about more important things, like coal and how ugly wind farms look.”
“Now if you’ll excuse me I’m off to Malcolm’s harbourside mansion to shirtfront him.”
Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull could not be reached for comment as he was no longer taking calls and was busy huddled in the corner in the foetal position.
President Trump was unavailable for comment as he was busy tweeting abuse at foreign dignatries.