Australia To Be Powered By Burning Copies Of Finkel Review

The coalition will guarantee Australia’s long term energy security by replacing coal fired power stations with power stations that run on the combustion of copies of the Finkel review.

“If fire was good enough for the neanderthals than it’s good enough for the Liberal Party,” said Tony Abbott. “Throw in the ABC Charter and every copy of Niki Savva’s book that reckons I was a crap Prime Minister and you could power Vivid for a century.”

“There’s 700 pages of pure energy in each copy, enough to light up a small town for a year,” said federal resources minister Matt Canavan. “Naturally we support what we call “clean” Finkel review technology, which means we’ll take it out of its plastic binder first so that no poisonous fumes are emitted.”

Opponents of the scheme claim that Australia’s energy needs could be met simply by burning every article in the Daily Telegraph that mocked the Finkel Review.

“Australia sits on the worlds largest reserves of untapped government reports, most of which are currently being used to prop up wonky desks in Canberra,” said chief scientist Dr Alan Finkel. “If need be we could power this country on copies of the Henry taxation review and the Gonski education review for three centuries.”

Peter Green

In Sydney? Come and see our special encore perform of our Sydney Comedy Festival show, That’s (un)Australian! on July 7 7, 7.30pm at the Harold Park Hotel in Glebe. Book tickets here.

You can follow The (un)Australian on twitter or like us on facebook.

Categories: Science

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

6 replies

  1. My brother suggested I would possibly like this blog.
    He was once totally right. This publish actually made my day.
    You can not imagine simply how so much time I had spent for this info!


  2. Great site you have got here.. It’s hard to find excellent writing like yours nowadays.
    I honestly appreciate individuals like you! Take care!!


  3. Hi there it’s me, I am also visiting this site regularly, this web page is really
    good and the viewers are in fact sharing nice thoughts.


  4. It’s a shame you don’t have a donate button! I’d definitely donate to this superb blog!

    I guess for now i’ll settle for book-marking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account.
    I look forward to new updates and will talk about this site with my Facebook group.
    Chat soon!


  5. Nice post. I learn something new and challenging on sites I stumbleupon every day.
    It’s always exciting to read through content from other authors
    and use something from other websites.


  6. This website certainly has all the info I needed about this subject and didn’t know who to


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: