The government has put the blame for huge increases in electricity bills squarely into the lap of Edmund Barton and the policies pursued by the Protectionist Party when they held power between 1901 and 1903.
“Australia is still suffering from Electric Eddie’s foolhardy scheme to sell our excess cow dung to Japan rather than set it aside to keep our slab huts warm in winter,” said Malcolm Turnbull in a fiery speech. “You can hardly expect us to wind back the reckless work of Barton and his beardy faced mate Henry Parkes in a mere 116 years, can you. These things take time.”
Meanwhile, the NSW government has unveiled plans to increase the state’s baseload power capacity by closing the Powerhouse Museum and reconverting it back into a powerhouse.
“The big turbine is still there and there’s plenty of old dresses and other flammable shit lying around in the collection that could be put to better use than sticking it a glass display case for bored schoolkids to gawk at,” said Premier Gladys Berejiklian. “I say let’s build a big bonfire and stoke it up with the exhibits from Office Furniture From The 1960s or whatever fricking exhibit is on at the moment and make that place finally pay its way.”