Liberal party defector Cory Bernardi has issued a press release demanding that in light of the results of the Marriage Equality survey Australian schools must start teaching students that 40% is worth more than 60%.
“It’s patently obvious to Myself and my good friend Lyle Shelton that the real winner of the marriage equality survey is the No camp,” said Senator Bernardi. “I mean we managed to get almost 40% of the population to vote our way.”
“What did the Yes camp get 60%, that’s not nearly as impressive as almost 40%. Schools should teach students that 40% is higher than 60%, it’s common sense.”
When pressed on what evidence he had that 40% was higher than 60% Senator Bernardi replied: “If 60% is higher than 40% then why has it not passed yet and why did the Prime Minister take a week off. Shouldn’t he have stayed in parliament till it was passed?”
Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull was unavailable for comment as he and the rest of the Liberal party were in hiding until their prodigal son Barnaby Joyce had returned to the flock.