After a full week of not sharing Parliament House with members of the House of Representatives, the Australian Senate is bracing itself for them returning to work and cluttering up the place again.
“It’s been the best week ever without dickheads like Bill Shorten and Malcolm Turnbull taking all the best parking spots,” said Derryn Hinch as he rode his skateboard through the deserted aisles of Capital Hill. “Me and Penny Wong and a couple of others even did a nudie run through the House of Reps and no-one was there to stop us.”
“For once those kids on school excursions didn’t walk into the viewing gallery and immediately walk back out again whinging about it only being the Senate,” said Cory Bernardi as he tucked into a third helping of pudding in the members dining room. “The little bastards had to stick around and watch us review and scrutinise legislation. Sucked in.”
“It was a lot easier to vote yes for the SSM bill knowing that Tony Abbott wouldn’t be waiting to bully you in the dunnies,” admitted Labor senator Sam Dastyari. “Plus there were plenty of unoccupied offices available if you wanted to have a discreet meeting with some mates from, say, China.”
With all their legislation passing done for the year, the Senators will occupy the last two weeks of parliament with electives.