Abbott Calls On Santa ScoMo To Give Everyone Coal This Christmas Budget

Former (despite what Peta Credlin says) Prime Minister Tony Abbott has called on the Treasurer Scott Morrison to deliver coal to every Australian this year as part of his Christmas themed budget.

“In the past coal has been traditionally associated with naughty boys and girls but I think we can all agree that times are a changing and coal is a good thing,” said Mr Abbott. “I mean without coal you would have no Coalitition.”

When reached for comment the Treasurer didn’t rule out Mr Abbott’s calls saying: “I won’t say a bad word about coal in fact I’m quite fond of coal myself. But I do take issue with being called Santa, I don’t like it and I hate Christmas. I hate it! I hate it! I hate it!”

“What an awful time of year. We should be celebrating the real season of giving. Tax time. What a wonderful time of year that is, when the Government takes from the poor and gives to the rich.”

“Who cares about Santa and his elves what about the Australian Tax Office and their debt collectors?”

Mark Williamson

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Saturday May 5, 5.30pm. The Factory Theatre. Book tickets here.

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Categories: Politics

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