Former Prime Minister Tony Abbott has condemned the ABC after they refused to consider his application to become the third banana in pajamas, B3 in the networks planned live action reboot of the series.

“The ABC has some hide in saying I am too destructive to be a banana in pajama,” Said Mr Abbott. “If anything they would be lucky to have someone of my caliber as a banana. I would definitely be able to stop the boats I mean bears. I would catch them unawares and do so in my Speedos as opposed to pajamas.”

“But once again the ABC proves that it is not a part of Team Australia and I think it it time that my Government, I mean Malcolm’s Government steps in to sort it out.”

When reached for comment on Mr Abbott’s rejection a Spokesperson for the ABC spoke of his audition, saying: “It was a complete disaster, he would not put on his pajamas insisting on wearing Speedos. Then when it came time time to read he constantly referred to Peter Rabbit as Peta Credlin and tried to rewrite the script whereby he as head Banana went around the world knighting Princes.”

“It was so bizarre we almost want to release the footage on ABC Comedy as it was the best bit of unintentional absurdist comedy seen since the days of Mr Abbott’s Prime Ministership.”

Mark Williamson

www.twitter.com/MWChatShow

You can check out our new show Decennium Horribilius at this year’s Sydney Comedy Festival. Hosted by The (un)Australian, the quiz show features teams of some of Sydney’s best comics trying to answer questions about the decade of the 1990s — with prizes for the audience.

Saturday May 5, 5.30pm. The Factory Theatre

Categories: Politics

Tags: ABC, auspol, Bananas In Pajamas, Destructive, Insiders, Knights, Malcolm Turnbull, Peter Rabbit, Prince Philip, QandA, Stop the Boats, The Bolt Report, theirabc, Tony Abbott