The French President has sensationally fired his Australian speech writer famed sports commentator Bruce McAveney and apologised to the Australian Prime Minister, his Wife and the Australian people after he referred to Mrs Turnbull as delicious. In a speech delivered yesterday in Sydney.
“I would like to humbly apologise for my comments, I meant no disrespect and was relying on my speech writer Monsieur Bruce McAveney for my words,” said a contrite French President. “I am thankful that the Daily Telegraph pointed out my errors with a humourous cartoon depicting me as Pepe Le Pew.”
“I did not know who this Pepe character was but thankfully my Wife remembered who he was as she saw the cartoon as a child.”
When reached for comment speech writer Bruce McAveney was also apologetic, saying: “I can’t believe I got it so wrong. It’s just that when I think of things I love and admire like Cyril Rioli I think of them as delicious. I realise now that this is not an ordinary or acceptable thing to do.”
“I will make sure that going forward that I save my delicious’ for Cyril….and Buddy and I can’t forget Winx or Black Caviar. Oh who am I kidding everything and everyone is delicious.”
“I can’t wait to start commentating on cricket this summer, that will definitely be delicious.”
You can check out our new show Decennium Horribilius at this year’s Sydney Comedy Festival. Hosted by The (un)Australian, the quiz show features teams of some of Sydney’s best comics trying to answer questions about the decade of the 1990s — with prizes for the audience.
Saturday May 5, 5.30pm. The Factory Theatre. Book tickets here.