The front runner to appear on next year’s edition of the show I’m A Celebrity Get Me Outta Here Clive Palmer, has taken time out of his busy schedule of running from creditors to text each and every Australian citizen promising them that he will deliver to them our very own Brexit.
“Look the United Kingdom voted for Brexit and so far they haven’t got it, I will not fail Australians like that I will deliver a Brexit,” said Mr Palmer. “Unlike Labor and the Liberals I am a man with my finger on the pulse and I know that Australian’s want a good long hard Brexit.”
“So Australia elect me to parliament and I will stop bombarding you with texts and billboards.”
When asked whether he knew what Brexit was Mr Palmer replied: “Do I know what Brexit is, come on I’ve had more Brexit’s than you’ve had hot dinners. Speaking of hot dinners I pledge to provide fast trains that will deliver hot dinners to all Australians who want them.”
“And hover boards and flying cars, vote for me Clive I’ll be your best friend, come on Australia don’t make me beg.”
Mark Williamson
You can follow The (un)Australian on twitter or like us on facebook
Categories: Politics
Related Articles
-
Christensen Blasts Channel 7 For Ignoring The Philippines In It’s Olympic Coverage
-
ScoMo’s Creepy Mate Tells Him That The Best Table Tennis Players Aren’t Even At The Olympics
-
Gladys Tells Victorians That They Should Send NSW Their Extra Netflix Login
-
Barnaby Begs Berejiklian To Sort Out A Singles Bubble For Non-Uggos
Leave a Reply