Palmer Texts All Australians Promising That He Will Deliver Them A Brexit


The front runner to appear on next year’s edition of the show I’m A Celebrity Get Me Outta Here Clive Palmer, has taken time out of his busy schedule of running from creditors to text each and every Australian citizen promising them that he will deliver to them our very own Brexit.

“Look the United Kingdom voted for Brexit and so far they haven’t got it, I will not fail Australians like that I will deliver a Brexit,” said Mr Palmer. “Unlike Labor and the Liberals I am a man with my finger on the pulse and I know that Australian’s want a good long hard Brexit.”

“So Australia elect me to parliament and I will stop bombarding you with texts and billboards.”

When asked whether he knew what Brexit was Mr Palmer replied: “Do I know what Brexit is, come on I’ve had more Brexit’s than you’ve had hot dinners. Speaking of hot dinners I pledge to provide fast trains that will deliver hot dinners to all Australians who want them.”

“And hover boards and flying cars, vote for me Clive I’ll be your best friend, come on Australia don’t make me beg.”

Mark Williamson

You can follow The (un)Australian on twitter or like us on facebook

Categories: Politics

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: