The (un)Australian’s NSW Election Predictions

queen-elizabeth-queen-mary-2-sydney-harbour

With the NSW Election a day away we went around our writing room to see what our writers predict will happen on election night.

Carlo Sands: Writer 

Winner: A corrupt party in the pockets of developers, mining companies and the gambling industry.

Losers: A corrupt party in the pockets of developers, mining companies and the gambling industry.

Biggest Shock: Fred Nile coming out

Best and (un)fairest: Not awarded this year due to lack of contenders.

Monday’s Headline: Sydney Trains Melt Down…Again

What Stupid Thing Will Latham Do On Saturday: Not resign from One Nation.

Mark Williamson: Writer

Winner: There will be no winners here.

Losers: The State Of NSW.

Best and (un)fairest: Gladys Berejiklian who will spend the night celebrating by commencing the demolition work on the SCG. Of which she will announce on Monday that her Government will indeed rebuild.

Biggest Shock: Following a massive write in campaign Egg Boy will be voted in to the Legislative Council.

Monday’s Headline: Transport Minister Andrew Constance Unable To Vote Due To Trackwork.

What Stupid Thing Will Mark Latham Do On Saturday: Live on channel 7 a Mark Latham and Alan Jones cooking demonstration will go horribly wrong when Latham misinterprets the term ‘crushed nuts’ in a recipe.

Peter Green: Writer

Winner: John Hewson… no longer the only doofus to lose an unloseable election… Chris Minns or Jodi McKay, the brand new opposition leader on Monday morning.

Loser: Any Liberal/National who retired early thinking they were going to be in opposition… The Powerhouse Museum, soon to be known as the Parramatta David Jones Carpark Museum.

Best and (un)fairest: Making us fill in 435 other numbers just so we can put Mark Latham last on the ballot paper.

Biggest Shock: Danny Lim winning a seat on the legislative council as the inaugural member of the Tony Abbott Is A C*** Party.

Monday’s Headline: Alan Jones Unveils Special “Michael Daley Getting His Arse Kicked” Projection On Side Of Opera House For Vivid.

What Stupid Thing Will Latham Do On Saturday: Leave His Cabcharge Dockets At Home.

Quentin Smith: Sports Writer

Winner: Western Bulldogs by 32 points.

Losers: Sydney

Best and (un)fairest: Caleb Daniel with 30+ possesions and 3 goals

Biggest Shock: There will be no complaints about the AFL’s recent rule changes.

Monday’s Headline: ‘Buddy’ Hell: Swans Election Night Shocker

What Stupid Thing Will Mark Latham Do On Saturday: Streak across the SCG. Which thankfully no one will see as the game is in Melbourne.

Join team (un)Australia live on Election Night Saturday March 23rd from 6 pm over at their Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/theunoz or follow the action on Twitter @TheUnOz



Categories: Politics

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