The man who promises to put the Ass back into Assisting Minister for the Homeless Luke Howarth has called upon the Nation’s Homeless to cheer up as it’s not like they have to worry about doing their housework.
“There is a lot of negativity about homelessness and I think it’s time to change the narrative somewhat,” said the Assisting Minister. “It’s easy to see only negatives but think of all the positives.”
“Not having to mow the lawns, pay rent or worry about which tiles to use when updating your master ensuite.”
When asked why he was focused on the positives of homelessness as opposed to fixing the problem of homelessness, Assisting Minister Howarth said: “Well, you know we did give everybody a whopping great tax cut so you know there’s not a lot of money left in the budget to actually do anything.”
“So from now on we will be a glass half full type of Government. For instance when you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by a Doctor use the time to catch up on your reading or try calling Centrelink. Turn a negative into a positive.”