Finance Minister Matthias Cormann has announced today that he will auction off the calculator that he used to crunch the numbers for the Minister for the Dark Arts, Peter Dutton during the last Liberal leadership spill to raise funds for victims of the bushfires.
”I saw on the news that the great Shane Warne was auctioning off his baggy green and thought I too should do my part,” said the Government’s leading Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonator. ”The calculator has been sitting on my desk and though it can’t add up to 43 I’m sure someone will have some use for it.”
”I did joke to ScoMo that I had been using the calculator to add up the budget surplus. You should have seen his face he ran all the way to Engadine Maccas.”
Experts have struggled to put a value on the calculator with some saying that a dodgy calculator has little value whilst others claim that a calculator that stopped Peter Dutton from becoming Prime Minister is a priceless national treasure.
Mark Williamson
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Categories: Politics
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