Government Announces Recasting With The Part Of Craig Kelly To Be Played By A Lump Of Coal

Craig Kelly

The Morrison Government has today announced that they will be recasting the role of Craig Kelly with a lump of coal set to take the Member for Hughes’ place.

“From time to time in a TV series for whatever reason an actor needs to be recast for a few months or permanently,” said a Government Spokesperson. “At this time we feel it’s best for Craig to take a break for a few months, years or heck even a decade.”

“He can do so knowing that his replacement, a lump of coal will definitely do a sterling job.”

When asked why Craig Kelly needs to be recast when the Prime Minister himself stepped in at the last election to secure his pre-selection, the Government Spokesperson said: “Did you not see the clip of him on Good Morning Britain?”

“Surely a lump of coal would have handled Piers Morgan better.”

The lump of coal will step in to Craig Kelly’s shoes immediately and has also been appointed official Government Spokesperson for the bushfires.

Mark Williamson

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Categories: Politics

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