Winners

The minority of Australians who still have a job and are therefore able to pay their taxes, will now be paying less tax.

Pensioners – just kidding.

Universities – psych!

Pensioners, no joke, will be getting two extra one-off payments of $250 to help cover the cost of living. Pensioners, please note that Coles this week has Pal dog food on sale. Stock up now!

Tradies – The Prime Minister has promised that in the next year he will travel the country to appear in a photo opportunity with every last one of them. Furthermore, Tradies are authorised to demand the lunch money of any Arts or Entertainment industry workers that they encounter.

Losers

Universities – Yep. They’re screwed.

People Without Any Franking Credits.

Young People.

The Unemployed.

The Planet.

Tradies Who Don’t Wish To Have Their Photo Taken With ScoMo.

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Categories: Politics

Tags: abc7:30, Albo, auspol, Budget2020, franking credits, Insiders, Josh Frydenburg, Pensioners, QandA, Scomo, Scott Morrison, Scotty From Marketing, The Budget, Tradies, universities