Government Announces New Welfare Initiative: MineKeeper

The Australian Government has reacted swiftly to news that China will no longer be accepting the country’s coal by setting up a new welfare initiative, Minekeeper.

“The very second I heard that our coal was not being taken I got on the blower to Treasury and said do what needs to be done to keep Twiggy and Gina going,” said Prime Minister Scotty from marketing. “My Government is a quick acting Government.”

“A Government that looks after those most in need.”

When asked why his Government was so quick to look after the mining industry as opposed to their glacial reaction to the down fall of the entertainment industry, the Minister said: “I reject the premise of your question.”

“My Government has always been there for the entertainment industry. Why just the other day one of my Ministers chucked some loose change in a buskers hat.”

“Coal miners can’t sell their product on the streets you know.”

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to Gina’s end of year soiree. Apparently the catering will be better than Engadine Maccas, woo hoo.”

Mark Williamson


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