Trade Minister Don Farrell will fly to Europe this week to engage in trade talks with the European Union which experts say will hinge on whether or not Australia will be given exclusive access to the C word.

”There have been a lot of things to negotiate from Feta to Prosecco but none of these thus far have generated the discussion that the C word has,” said a Spokesperson for the Trade Minister. ”As far as we’re concerned it’s ours, we use it for everything, from an insult to a term of endearment, isn’t that right c*nt?”

”Sure, the Italians act like they’re a bunch of c*nts but they’re more arseholes than c*nts.”

When asked what the odds of the trade deal getting done, the Spokesperson said: ”Oh, you know, it’s all good but.”

”Look, we’ll throw a few things their way and we’ll get some stuff back.”

”No one really gives a toss about Prosecco so we’ll give ’em that and maybe Feta and that should get us the C bomb.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to see a c*nt about a getting a dog up ya.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

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Categories: World

Tags: Albo, auspol, Britain, Canberra, Champagne, Cunt, Don Farrell, Europe, European Union, Feta, France, germany, Insiders, Italy, Prosecco, QandA, satire, Trade