Opposition leader and part-time Voldemort cosplayer, Peter Dutton, has sauntered off to the United States in an effort to help make Australia great again.
”Peter will be away for a few weeks, he will be meeting some important people and has promised us he will go nowhere near Hawaii,” said interim Opposition leader (yep, really) Sussan Ley. ”What an opportunity Australia now has, as I Susssan, will be leading the way.”
”And rest assured whilst Peter is away Angus Taylor will also be taking a much needed break. Where we’ve sent him is very far, far away, with absolutely no internet.”
When asked why the Opposition leader was jetting all around the World rather than staying at home and actually working on details of his thus far detail-free ”policies” Susssan Ley said: ”Well, why did the Albanese Government give Peter a visa then?”
”This is another move by an out of touch Government that quite frankly is not up to the job.”
”I’d also like to take this opportunity to announce a few new policies that we will enact when we regain power.”
”For one it will no longer be spelt Australia but rather Ausssstralia, numerology will be added as a compulsory unit in schools and it will also be made illegal to criticise in any way a Coalition Government.”
Mark Williamson
@MWChatShow
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