The Coalition has today announced that West Australian Senator, Linda Karen Reynolds, has been appointed shadow minister for suing women.

In a move designed to shore up the Coalitions standing with the female voter.

”Linda is perfectly suited to this role and is out on the front foot making sure all women know that if they step out of line they will be taken to court,” said Opposition leader Peter Dutton. ”We are in fact looking at passing laws aimed specifically at female victims of sexual assault whereby they will have to deposit a bond straight to Linda.”

”Just in case they defame her.”

When asked if he seriously believed that a member of his team suing a rape victim was a good way to appeal to female voters, the Opposition leader said: ”Linda is female and she knows what women want.”

”They want to see her get her pound of flesh, or at least the money back that she has had to spend on steam cleaning.”

”The women of Australia need to know that they will have no better leader than myself as Prime Minister.”

”My nuclear plan for instance will make the housework easier. Wait till you get to iron with nuclear power.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s been a long day I’m going to strangle a puppy or two to relax.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

You can follow The (un)Australian on twitter @TheUnOz or like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theunoz.

The (un)Australian Live At The Newsagency Recorded live, to purchase click here:

https://bit.ly/2y8DH68

Categories: Politics

Tags: abc730, auspol, Coalition, Females, Higgins, Insiders, Janet Albrechtsen, joke, Liberal party, Linda Karen Reynolds, Linda REynolds, Nationals, Peter Dutton, Samantha Maiden, satire, Senate, Senator, The Australian, West Australia, Women