Peter Dutton’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has pledged to only drink himself into a stupor at pubs that honour Australia Day.
The decision came after his leader, Donald Dutton, started his latest culture war attacking venues that chose not to wrap themselves in Australian flags this Australia day.
”I carry enormous weight on the subject of getting blotto in pubs,” declared the member for New England. ”So, to all those trendy inner-city publicans, no flag, no Barnaby.”
”Doesn’t matter how good looking your bar girls are, on Australia day the only erection I want to talk about is the erection of an Australian flag.”
When asked if it was appropriate to be launching into yet another culture war when the cost of living was really biting into Australians, the member for New England said: ”There is nothing more important to everyday, salt of the earth Aussies than Australia day.”
”I mean who doesn’t love getting blind, wandering around the pub in only your Australian flag boxers and asking the ladies to salute the flag?”
”Bloody Albo needs to get off his soy flat white mocha fuelled high horse and get down to the pub like a real Australian.”
Mark Williamson
@MWChatShow
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