In what some are calling a lover’s tiff, Opposition leader Peter Dutton, has angrily accused his biggest fans, the Australian media, of discriminating against his glass jaw.

”They know I’m sensitive to criticism, so what’s with all the questions,” whined the member for Dixon. ”They need to know that I make a statement or an attack on the Government and they amplify it.”

”There are to be no questions.”

When asked why he was so sensitive to criticism of his seemingly half-baked policy thought bubbles, the Opposition leader said: ”People need to understand that my job is to attack, not announce policies.”

”Tony Abbott didn’t become PM with policies, so why should I have to have any?”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to disappear for a few days so I don’t have to answer any questions and can instead dream up the next culture war to start.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

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Categories: Politics

Tags: Albo, Anthony Albanese, auspol, Australia, Glass Jaw, Insiders, Newspoll, Peter Dutton, Policies, Polling, QandA, Redbridge, Referendum, satire, Sky News, Soap Bubble, The Australian, Thought Bubble, Tony Abbott, Weak