Opposition leader (for now), Peter Dutton, has told colleagues that the inspiration for his child sex offender registry came to him as he sat down at Cardinal George Pell’s funeral.

”George Pell certainly cast a spell on the hard-right side of the Coalition,” said a Coalition Spokesperson. ”He touched so many, including Pete, allegedly.”

”He may be gone but he’s still touching us all from beyond the grave.”

When asked whether Dutton’s low polling and the projected electoral disaster that is looming meant that the Coalition would be looking for a new leader come May 4th, the Coalition’s Spokesperson said: ”Well, we haven’t lost yet, I mean we do still have a few scare campaigns up our sleeves.”

”’Did someone say boats?”

”Anyway, got to head off, need to go and do some research into how to polish a turd, big meeting planned with Angus.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

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Categories: World

Tags: Abbott, auspol, Coalition, Election, Funeral, George Pell, Howard, Insiders, joke, Liberal party, Peter Dutton, QandA, satire, Sex Registry, The Pope