Dan Andrews Forced To Flee To China To Escape News Corp Obsessives

Former Victorian Premier, Dan Andrews, has been forced to flee to communist China to escape the obsessives at News Corp who continue to report his every move, despite the Premier being out of the public spotlight.

”It’s not ideal that I have to be in China hanging out with Putin, Kim Jong Un and Bob Carr, but dear God it’s better than looking out your window and watching Peta Credlin rifling through your bins,” said the former Premier. ”You’d think a station that has reported on me for years and always has low ratings would perhaps look to move on.”

”Thank God the Chinese know how to keep the media at bay.”

When reached for comment on the companies obsession with the former Premier, a News Corp spokesperson said: ”The people have a right to know what Dan Andrews is up to at all hours of the day.”

”After all he wasn’t a popular Premier, he did win three elections and retired at his own choosing, but Sharri wasn’t a fan.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go and hide in a bin at Melbourne airport for the next five days, just in case he sneaks back early.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

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